30/365

D R A I N E D

I hate Singapore's education system

25/365

 

 

So so thankful for Mr Toh's hershey's to motivate me to stay awake in math classes if I answer his questions correctly (nerd mode on) ^

Pretty much sums up my exhausting week absolutely sick of pe wtf commando mass pe sprinting like dogs and doing repetitive sets is no fun imagine that with 3rd day of menses yup that was me. Wasn't exactly all cheery and enthu cuz of that either................... but whatever thank god Thurs was over. But then came Fri with sore aches and died during training just now.

Rewarded myself with 2 dresses this week for surviving 5 days exercise week #3. No more my body can't take it anymore :'( School's getting intense and dsa induction 2013 next week just reminded me of the fun i had on the week of dsa induction last year with the 2012 batch missing you guys :(((((

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOT TO FORGET OUR CNY PERFORMANCE ITEM!!!!! Which we totally rocked it (click on the links to watch our performanceee)

Our final rehearsal 

Final performance on stage 

Good times :-")

 

  And lastly, good job to the Saints Rugby Team again!!! Kiwi Cup champions once more #kyrancup

As for me, I will crash now........... Goodnight!!!!!

24/365

En route to school
Today's the day where my bag weighs a ton
To think there's a turn of event
Which left my work completely undone
Amidst the tired faces I see
I do hope today will end really quick

19/365

18th irthday celebration part 2 with the boy (haha self proclaimed 8 days of birthday...)  Timbre for dinner before catching the famous Les Misérables!!!!!!!!!! Finally understood what the buzz and singing in my class is all about... NO FEAR I'll join you guys on Monday!! Anne Hathaway was so damn amazing and ddg. As of now it's time to bathe shit complete my uber impromptu econs essay sleep and hopefully wake up in time for econs tuition and math tuition later in the morningggg *crosses fingers*

17/365

16/365

“So build yourself as beautiful as you want your world to be. Wrap yourself in light then give yourself away with your heart, your brush, your march, your art, your poetry, your play. And for every day you paint the war, take a week and paint the beauty, the color, the shape of the landscape you’re marching towards. Everyone knows what you’re against; show them what you’re for.”
- Andrea Gibson, Evolution

14/365

"That's what feeling shy feels like. Like my skin is too thin, the light too bright. Like the best place I could possibly be is in a tunnel far under the cool, dark earth. Someone asks me a question and I stare at them, empty-faced, my brain jammed up with how hard I'm trying to find something interesting to say. And in the end, all I can so is nod or shrug, because the light of their eyes looking at me, waiting for me, is just too much to take. And then it's over and there's one more person in the world who thinks I'm a complete and total waste of space.

The worst thing is the stupid hopefulness. Every new party, every new bunch of people, and I start thinking that maybe this is my chance. That I'm going to be normal this time. A new leaf. A fresh start. But then I find myself at the party thinking, Oh, Yeah. This again.

So I stand on the edge of things, crossing my fingers, praying nobody will try to look me in the eye. And the good thing is, they usually don't."

Visuals/first week of school

12/365

12 of Jan..... Jeng jeng jeng it's my birthday *pops confetti finally legal weeee. On a downside, my parcel from asos and kanken isn't here (supposedly on fri...) so no suede superga for me to sch tomorrow :-(

So started off the morning with a match against NTU at NUS before heading back to school for open house. The match was really tough it was only the beginning and i started panting mind you i'm the keeper so it's rlly rlly weird to see how my body fails me whenever i needed it the most and i locked my elbow which i rlly shldnt have cuz for the next few minutes i could feel the sharp pain whenever i straighten my right elbow. Enough abt the matchhhhh

Back to the familiar grounds and wowww the atmosphere was pretty hyped up I must say this year council rlly did a great job i remembered how everyone was complaining about sa's open house last year about how individualistic everything felt and that they don't seem to welcome newcomers with open arms hmm. Walked about and really felt "important" when someone actually go "happy birthday alex!!!!" when they walk pass me haha once in a lifetime "pop star mode" B-) Absolutely loved the mass dance and the dance perf by the dance cca!!!! Wa only regret im gonna have in life is not joining modern dance in sec school, i can never get a chance to dance again (ok maybe mass dance lol... but u get the idea)

Lovely surprise from the polo team - could already guessed the day before something's gonna happen cuz the boy was so sneaky about this particular text whom he lied was from Ali. Bleh Davidson time to learn to lie better hahaha but thank you for the cake and everything polo team :-) <3
Chilled in school for an hour with Davidson in an attempt to dry my wet towel at the gallery steps with the PMS sun and deciding what to do for the evening. Came to a consensus to catch Jack Reacher!!!!! It was awesome Tom Cruise is amazing, absolutely adore how he is always speaking in riddles in the movie it challenges me (HAHAHAH) it's pretty much detective-ish and action movie with a sprinkle of comedy!! Aiya go watch it if you haven't.

So low and behold it's back to another week of the jc regime and i WILL survive this week of 6 days straight of exercise back to back and school *sigh* Thank you everyone for the lovely wishes it really means a lot to me <3 <3 goodnight all :-*

11/365

LAST DAY OF BEING 17, F I N A L L Y

Long day ahead tomorrow come SA open house!!!!! Take it as my birthday gift k :-)

9/365

Soaked in my chlorinated self (futile effort in the end) with a churning and shotgun pain in my stomach since the morning and having a jammed pinky coupled with running nose doesn't seem to make the night any better. Broke my own silence and whispered "how was training?" on the way home, guess some monologue wouldn't do much harm

I
never
am
on
your
top
anyway
what's new

8/365

I don't know how I'll be able to survive this week

7/365

you'll never love yourself
half as much as i love you.
you'll never treat yourself right darling
but i want you to.
if i let you know
i'm here, for you.
maybe you'll love yourself
like i, love you.

6/365

So dragged myself to Leanne's place to meet the rest and while they immersed themselves with the game of Bang.... I did my geog reports away in a corner sobs life sucks to be so last minute. Mixed feelings for school tomorrow but we'll all survive :-) Can't wait to see all of the faces I haven't been seen in awhile.

All the best to everyone for the start of a new term!

Dilemma

 Deciding if I should reward myself and get one of these Kankens ......................... Yes or no?


/edits
JENG
JENG
J   E   N   G!!!
I have decided.
And oh wow
school
starts tomorrow

Thought Catalog: The Kind Of Girl I Am

I hear a lot of sentences that begin or end with some variation of “I’m not that kind of girl.” There seems to always be two camps of women, one who does this horrible thing that we’re all collectively supposed to be embarrassed of, and one who has far too much dignity and self-respect to engage in it. It’s hard not to feel an expectation of classifying yourself in such a way as to put other women down, or to recognize that there are certain behaviors within us that we are supposed to be constantly suppressing. But you see, I am often afraid, when I hear these sweeping generalizations about the humiliating kind of girl all of these people are absolutely not, that I may be her myself. I am more afraid, it should be said, that I don’t want to change.

Because I am the kind of girl who will call you too much — who will fall neatly under the labels of “crazy” or “needy” because her emotions tend to spill out all at once, and in full color. I find myself unable to sit on my hands when it comes to waiting for the phone to ring, to allowing someone I am over the moon about to take their time and call me when they’re ready. When I am infatuated with you, all sense of basic social propriety flies out the window and my entire life is dependent on the sweet, tinny ringing of a cellphone. I will hound your message box and immediately regret every text I send, wishing that I were the kind of person who could exhibit that coy, sexy restraint. I wish playing “hard to get” were a game that didn’t elude me completely, that I could engage in a little cat-and-mouse, that I could obfuscate my true feelings just long enough to make you wonder if I actually need you. With me, there is never a doubt of “need.” I always have my hands outstretched.

I am the kind of girl who will love you more loudly than you love her and not know how to make it seem like she doesn’t. I am the kind of girl who will consistently paint outside the lines and still hope that you’ll be proud of her when she shows you the finished product. I have a heart which, beyond being worn on my sleeve, tends to beat loudly enough to deafen anyone trying to listen to me speak. Any half-hearted murmurs of “I’m fine” or “It’s okay” will be drowned out by the thud of what are clearly my real feelings on the subject. There will always be an urgency and difficulty in my love, because I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I am the kind of girl who will fight sometimes for no reason, who will create arguments out of thin air because she is frustrated and sometimes takes it out on the people who deserve it least but will stand for it most. I will know that what I am doing is wrong in the moment — that a label of “psycho” being flung at me will be as stinging as it is accurate — but be unable to stop myself. I will see in this a kind of pinch to remind yourself that you are alive, that you are fresh, that you are worth fighting for — even if it’s selfish and juvenile. I love things at top volume, at their most difficult, at their most needlessly complex.

I am the kind of girl who talks too loudly and curses too often and makes a habit of inserting her foot as far into her mouth as her leg can bend. I know that there is a delicate sort of grace that I should be striving for, an Audrey Hepburn-esque ability to be at once charmingly funny and undoubtedly feminine, but I will constantly strive for the former in complete negligence of the latter. Though I can see myself almost in an out-of-body experience, realize that I am being “too much” and “too intense” at yet another social gathering because I know no other way to be, there will always be a small voice in my head which encourages me to tell the dirty joke, to make the overly-frank comment, and to sacrifice the seen-and-not-heard beauty that we are raised to admire in a woman.

I often hear other women talk proudly of the fact that they are not like me. They are not “crazy,” they are not “needy,” they are not “loud,” they are not “bitchy.” And though I do not begrudge them their choice to be a different human being than I am, I wish that their premium and their beauty didn’t have to come at the expense of other women. I wish that we were free enough to be individuals, that there didn’t have to be two categories to fit into, and that the actions of one of us didn’t have to be so immediately reflective of us all. Maybe there is something wrong with being all of these things — notably all of these things at once — but I have never known how to be anyone else. And I would rather be too much of me than just barely enough of a proper lady.

5/365

you are like the snow only purer fleeter, like the rain only sweeter frailer you

To my bestest ♥

 

PLEASE STAY SAFE IN UK PAL ♥♥♥ Can't wait to see you when you're back :-'(